One dad tells us his vasectomy experience. Please share your story too.
We met a dad recently who said, "Your website needs more information on vasectomy!" so we asked him to share his experiences in a hope that other guys can read it and take comfort, advice and information from it. We encourage anyone who has experience of this to leave a comment at the bottom of the page. The purpose of dadzclub is provide a platform for dads/men to share and gain information from others experiences. Here's Johns story.
I've had a vasectomy. It took me quite a long time to work up the courage to do it. Two halves of my brain were at war. Let me tell you how the battle went..
Young brain believes he is still a young virile ladies man. Young brain is foolish - a glance at my sperm count test will confirm that - but foolishness is part of the charm of youth. Young brain likes the feeling that there is a whole world of experiences for him to explore in the infinite time he has left on earth. Young brain wanted kids and is delighted to have some now but he doesn't want to close the door on any future opportunities. Getting a vasectomy means he couldn't have any more kids and who knows where life might take him? And young brain thinks not being able to have kids any more might also mean not wanting or enjoying sex as much. Getting a cat or dog spayed reduces their desire, after all - might it be the same for a man? Then there's the pain - and it's not just *any* pain. It's *that* pain. Oh god, *that* pain. But worst of all accepting these things means not just closing the door on having more kids. It means closing the door on his youth. It means accepting that he's not a young man anymore and becoming a proper grown-up - halfway to dead! And there's still so much he's not done yet. Surely's it's not that time already?
But hold on, let's allow the mature brain to have a say - the one who cares deeply about being a good dad and a good man. What does that guy think? Well he thinks he's got two beautiful kids. He thinks he always wanted kids and now he's got some - and he loves them - and he worries that adding any more to the mix might dilute his time with the kids he loves so much already. And he really deeply wants to be a great dad. An indestructible, dependable, fun loving dad who makes things and makes things up and always knows how to deal with whatever the world throws his way. Those aren't the traits of a young person. He also thinks it's unfair to ask his partner to keep putting hormones and drugs into her body for 30 or more years to keep from getting pregnant. And he thinks it's completely irresponsible to expect her to get *her* tubes tied when having a vasectomy is a much quicker and less intrusive operation. He thinks it's time to man up, accept the brief discomfort and become a mature capable grown-up.
So there was this battle going on. And I struggled with it for many months before even talking to a doctor about it. Ruth and I had discussed it and when we speak "sensibly" with our wives of course our mature brain is speaking. So needless to say I'd readily agreed with her that I should get it done. But the young brain was still arguing with me. Eventually Ruth booked me an appointment with the doctor - with my agreement - and so off I went to "talk" about it. The doctor did the worst possible thing and gave me a leaflet that I didn't want to read. But I did phone to book the appointment and from that point on I couldn't face reading the leaflet or uttering the "V" word. It became "daddy's spa day" and we referred to it as that until after the event.
I wish I could tell you how the mature brain won this battle. I think I just needed time. I should have read the leaflet - it would have told me that interest in sex and ability to perform are not affected and I can confirm that's true now. It would also have told me about various possible side effects of the operation, some of which I've still got. But I'm not sure it would have helped me decide to go through with it. I had to do that part for myself.
And I did.
(image : inquisitr.com)
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