vasectomy experiences

One dad tells us his vasectomy experience. Please share your story too.

We met a dad recently who said, "Your website needs more information on vasectomy!" so we asked him to share his experiences in a hope that other guys can read it and take comfort, advice and information from it. We encourage anyone who has experience of this to leave a comment at the bottom of the page. The purpose of dadzclub is provide a platform for dads/men to share and gain information from others experiences. Here's Johns story.

I've had a vasectomy. It took me quite a long time to work up the courage to do it. Two halves of my brain were at war. Let me tell you how the battle went..

Young brain believes he is still a young virile ladies man. Young brain is foolish - a glance at my sperm count test will confirm that - but foolishness is part of the charm of youth. Young brain likes the feeling that there is a whole world of experiences for him to explore in the infinite time he has left on earth. Young brain wanted kids and is delighted to have some now but he doesn't want to close the door on any future opportunities. Getting a vasectomy means he couldn't have any more kids and who knows where life might take him? And young brain thinks not being able to have kids any more might also mean not wanting or enjoying sex as much. Getting a cat or dog spayed reduces their desire, after all - might it be the same for a man? Then there's the pain - and it's not just *any* pain. It's *that* pain. Oh god, *that* pain. But worst of all accepting these things means not just closing the door on having more kids. It means closing the door on his youth. It means accepting that he's not a young man anymore and becoming a proper grown-up - halfway to dead! And there's still so much he's not done yet. Surely's it's not that time already?

But hold on, let's allow the mature brain to have a say - the one who cares deeply about being a good dad and a good man. What does that guy think? Well he thinks he's got two beautiful kids. He thinks he always wanted kids and now he's got some - and he loves them - and he worries that adding any more to the mix might dilute his time with the kids he loves so much already. And he really deeply wants to be a great dad. An indestructible, dependable, fun loving dad who makes things and makes things up and always knows how to deal with whatever the world throws his way. Those aren't the traits of a young person. He also thinks it's unfair to ask his partner to keep putting hormones and drugs into her body for 30 or more years to keep from getting pregnant. And he thinks it's completely irresponsible to expect her to get *her* tubes tied when having a vasectomy is a much quicker and less intrusive operation. He thinks it's time to man up, accept the brief discomfort and become a mature capable grown-up.

So there was this battle going on. And I struggled with it for many months before even talking to a doctor about it. Ruth and I had discussed it and when we speak "sensibly" with our wives of course our mature brain is speaking. So needless to say I'd readily agreed with her that I should get it done. But the young brain was still arguing with me. Eventually Ruth booked me an appointment with the doctor - with my agreement - and so off I went to "talk" about it. The doctor did the worst possible thing and gave me a leaflet that I didn't want to read. But I did phone to book the appointment and from that point on I couldn't face reading the leaflet or uttering the "V" word. It became "daddy's spa day" and we referred to it as that until after the event.

I wish I could tell you how the mature brain won this battle. I think I just needed time. I should have read the leaflet - it would have told me that interest in sex and ability to perform are not affected and I can confirm that's true now. It would also have told me about various possible side effects of the operation, some of which I've still got. But I'm not sure it would have helped me decide to go through with it. I had to do that part for myself.

And I did.

(image : inquisitr.com)

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  • 12 comments

    We value your opinion. Here are some of our readers thoughts on this item.

    • David
    • Wednesday 11 July 2012 4:39 PM
    • Interesting. I would like to hear how he got on after the op and if he has any chronic pain. Depending on where you look lots of men seem to say that it's the most agonising thing in the world and they are in agony years later. I know you get mostly bad news online but still, it's a bit worrying. If I thought I would be pain free afterwards (minus the inevitable few weeks recovery) I'd do it in a second. Wife doesn't do well on pill and I hate condoms, but we don't want more kids.

    • John
    • Wednesday 11 July 2012 7:19 PM
    • Hi David. Thanks for posting and asking a question that must be on a lot of guys' minds. I'm the original author and I have actually written a follow up to this post where I describe in detail the procedure and the aftermath. Craig has that and I hope he'll post it here soon.

      The short version is that I'm nearly pain free now and I have been for a couple of weeks. It's been maybe 5 weeks since the op and honestly even on the day of the op I wouldn't describe it as "agony". It was certainly painful but agony is too strong a word for what I felt. Also, the only reason my own pain went on as long as it has is that the vasectomy aggravated a previous infection I had in my epididimus (the tube going into the testicle). That flared up and became very infected, which is really very painful. The pain from that was worse than from the actual vasectomy. That infection is slowly going down - it's nearly cleared up now.

      I've talked to quite a number of guys about their vasectomies and horror stories do the rounds for sure. Quite a few of the guys I talked to did have a somewhat less than ideal experience with it. But every single one I've spoken to has been pain free eventually. In the worst case that was 8 weeks I think. In the best case 1 week.

    • David (another one!)
    • Wednesday 11 July 2012 8:41 PM
    • Hi David (the first one!),

      It's been a few years now since I had my vasectomy so my poor old brain doesn't remember the detail. However, I am no hero and the thought of any kind of physical pain fills me with dread. I have no such memories of my vasectomy.

      Admittedly during the short operation during which I chatted with the GP about my work (with my wife in the room), he did probe the boundaries of the area under the effect of the local anaesthetic and my reaction nearly resulted in my knee breaking his jaw. Having said that the sensation was almost instaneous and soon forgotten. The thing that does stick in my mind is the occasional smell of burning flesh and somebody rummaging around in my nether regions for a while.

      In summary, man up, get it done - and enjoy a much better sex life as aresult!

    • David (the first one)
    • Thursday 12 July 2012 9:24 PM
    • Thanks for the replies. I'm not concerned about short term issues, it was the reports of chronic pain that stopped guys from having sex or in some cases just sitting down, years after the op!

      But both sound fairly positive experiences so thanks.

    • John
    • Friday 13 July 2012 10:29 AM
    • Yep I really don't think you need to worry. And don't worry about the sex thing either. It's *better* afterwards because you're not needing to use contraception and you're not worrying about an accident.

    • Mike D
    • Wednesday 26 December 2012 5:29 PM
    • I had it done 4 years ago. I did not have mich swelling. I took more then two weeks off of work to ensure the healing was done. I went back to work and took it easy. I ended up with nerve damage in my left testical. The doctor said to wait as ot could take a long time to heal. The pain has not gone away. Though I have learned to live with the pain and discomfort it still bothers me to this day from jogging to sexual experinces. I do not recommend it to anyone. Many ways to prevent pregnacy.
      Sorry my story is not what people want to hear.
      The only comfort I can give is my Doctor said my condition rarely happens, but it does happen.
      Good luck to all who have it done

    • stuart sheldon
    • Friday 08 February 2013 5:17 PM
    • For Father's Day I Got a Vasectomy - http://stuartsheldon.com/2012/for-fathers-day-i-got-a-vasectomy/.

    • stuart sheldon
    • Friday 08 February 2013 5:19 PM
    • Let me be clear. Being a father is by far my greatest achievement, and my two sons are the yardstick by which I measure my value as a person. My love for them transcends any emotion I have ever known. It is love that hurts and tickles deep in my solar plexus.

      This is not an indictment of fatherhood. Fatherhood is my essence. No, this is a celebration of motherhood. I did it for my wife. I did it because she asked. I did it because she covered the birth control all these years. She suffered 3 miscarriages in 12 months. She carried 2 babies, one of which required bed rest and the other a cerclage (look it up, not pretty). She nursed and she sang and she cradled. And did everything that a world-class mother does to make their children thrive.

      Let’s be honest here; we men do very little in the baby making department beyond popping in for an early bedside visit. After that we cheerlead as convincingly as possible. Then our wife delivers us a ripe watermelon through an ant hole as we watch in a state of OMFG I see his head. Then she’s up all night for months while we murmur something about I wish I could breastfeed him honey so you could get some rest. And then one day, the boys are 2 and 4 and they could not be more beautiful. More cheeky. More quizzical. More impish and playful and zesty and scrumptious. And you look at them and cry for no reason. And then you look at her and wonder how did I get this lucky.

      Then one day, out of the blue, your wife says, I think I want you to get snipped because my body cannot deal with the pill anymore and frankly, I don’t want to think about another child. And, at first, you think, wow, that’s a rather aggressive approach to the problem. But then you start to think glass half full. I certainly don’t want another child. We all fit in a car so nicely. And birth control. No more, be careful, I’m ovulating. No more anything other than sex whenevs. And as you stare incredulously at 50 with your 2 magical boys climbing and giggling on your back, you figure, she’s beyond worth it.

      And so, for Father’s Day I got snipped. There really was nothing to it, given the modern out-patient methodology. In fact, nothing has changed. I’m still pinching myself for being so goddamned lucky. And my Father’s Day, complete with brekkie in bed, The Cat in the Hat and my 2-yr old’s 1st poop in the potty could not have been any sweeter.
      To read more visit stuartsheldon.com

    • Ryan Plantagenet
    • Saturday 09 March 2013 10:24 PM
    • I'm not a father (though I was suspect to be a father at 15...course, she and the baby boy moved to Canada somewhere...so my 'son' would be 7 now - but it couldn't be mine. Anyway!

      I got a vasectomy, and I'm not even a father. I was 23 (10/03/12) and it has been the most easiest yet best decision EVER.
      The world isn't going to get any better, and why would you want the responsibility and worry? The crying, the 'not-knowing-what's-wrong' times, the sleepless nights, plus the cost of bringing up a child.

      I never wanted kids - not ever - so, after years of loose contemplation, and a rejection...I decided to get the snip, besides which it is cool to do. I'll never ever have to worry about being stung, or that moment when a 16 year old child knocks on your door with a birth certificate (and DNA report) saying 'Hello, dad!'. And I see it like this. People say 23 is too young, but then it's too young to have kids. At least if one does regret the vasectomy, they don't have the worry. If you regret having children, you still have to worry about them and still provide for them. I'm not the only person to get it done, but I went with Marie Stopes and I am the officially the youngest male to have it done with them.

      I'll never regret my decision, never have, and I'm so much more happier knowing that I won't be burdened with responsibility, worry - nor will my wallet ever be crippled.

      I did have a hematoma for a couple of weeks which HURT, but after that there has been no discomfort at all. I'd recommend it to anyone.

    • Marc
    • Wednesday 13 March 2013 7:23 PM
    • After years of wife being on pill we changed to the coil and then she had issues with that. A vasectomy was considered and we spoke to local surgery who told us there were no long term risks and the biggest risk we had was a 1 in 2000 chance of wife becoming pregnant.

      On Nov 15th 2012 I went in for procedure.

      The local pain relief stung for the first cut but the second injection really really hurt as the did the tugging feeling.

      Felt a bit light headed after the event but went home.
      Back in work 3 days later.
      21/11/12 went to surgery as quite painful, and a redness with weeping on wound.
      Amoxyclav was prescribed.

      Pain kept getting worse & after collapsing on 24/11/12 ended up in Dr's at 23:00hrs - they decided to change antibiotics to Citroplaxflaxin.

      Pain ramped up over next few days and had to visit local GP to get pain relief. Minimal strength given as it can't be that bad!

      Pain just kept increasing & visited the surgery where vasectomy was performed again in December. It was decided the antibiotics were not working and was then put onto doxycycline. Still minimal pain relief given.

      After losing my footing due to pain in city centre 16/12/12 we had to go to walk in centre where they prescribed 100mg diclofenic.

      Pain wouldn't go away and had me in tears a lot.
      21/12/12 was signed off work and now one month after the procedure did they decide it may not be an infection and decide to increase pain relief.
      At one point it was 37 tablets a day. 1000mg gabapentin, codeine phosphate, paracetamol, Tramodol and brufen were all used to minimal affect!

      Dr's now began to realise this may not be an infection and had to suggest it could be PVP - post vasectomy pain syndrome. An urgent referral to main hospital was made and this took place in Jan 13. It showed inflamed epididymis.

      Side effects of meds were now really beginning to take their toll and I was constantly feeling tired, sick and some major league headaches & still in pain.

      Another referral was made to see consultant on Feb 8th 2013. This was supposed to be a one stop diagnostic appt where in tests would be done etc.
      No tests done but now 80mg of Oramorph (liquid morphine) was prescribed. Morphine! Kind of gives you an idea of pain levels! and no it didn't kill pain, took edge off but some days were still agony.

      3 months after vasectomy. Still in constant pain, unable to have sex due to pain on erection or extreme agony on ejaculation. Obviously no masturbation either.

      My "urgent" referral to a pain management clinic came through in Feb 13....it was for April 2013! Urgent in NHS terms usually means 2 weeks not 2 months!

      Back to GP to discuss possibility of reversal as it could reduce pain levels. I was not interested in pain management, after 3 months I wanted pain cessation.

      GP referred me back to consultant - appt though was 4 weeks down the line. Given the level of pain and the fact I was now running out of sick pay I asked her to gain me a private appt hoping that if we bypassed the NHS queue it would get me back to work quickly and stop the pain.

      Meantime my employers Occupational Health provider vetoes me returning to work due to use of morphine and levels of pain! Half pay now a serious prospect.

      Private appt came through last week and he confirmed a diagnosis of bilateral scrotal post vasectomy pain with urgency of bladder.

      So now we have a diagnosis that according to the surgery who performed the snip was impossible. PVP is a long term risk!

      PVP depending on whose data set you work to can affect:
      5-10% - conservative NHS estimate
      7-14% - specialist urologist figure
      up to 30% other sources!

      Consultant would not do surgery at this point as wanted to see how pain management worked out, but did say long term should be viewed as lifelong!

      NEVER EVER CONSIDER A VASECTOMY!
      90% success rate sounds good but what if you're one of those in the PVP bracket like myself? Trust me the risk is not worth it! I have constant pain still. I have no sex life and stress is unbelievable! Could your marriage survive no sex?

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